It's Thursday night, and it's indeed a very emo night for me. Not because of relationship, family or other stuff but work. There's no way for me to express my feeling right now. I need someone to talk to but i couldn't find any. Been so demotivated in this month. I hate what am i doing now and i really wish to finish it as soon as i can, but i know even i finished it, they will still make changes on that and my work will never ends.
I actually shared a bit with few of my colleagues before, and seriously, i don't blame anyone. I blamed myself for joining the team late, i blamed myself for all the reasons that i could think of. All this while i was expecting to learn, to grow, and so far my mind wasn't telling me i've absorb lots of knowledge. One of my colleague told me i'm too desperate in learning things. Seriously, is this a problem? No, it wasn't! I've only 4 months of internship, i want to learn as much as i can, i want to gain knowledge, i want to understand more on my work.
I'm the person who never like changes, never like to sit still for hours, never like to do documentation work. But of course, i'll still endure it. I always write notes for self-motivation. For me, anyone can do my job because it doesn't require any skills, and i don't think anyone will appreciate it as well. Arghh! Can anyone give me some positive comment? I'm trying hard to hypnosis myself but every time i saw them working hard on something, i really wish i can help out at least a little.
As what i mentioned earlier, i don't feel regret after joining. This company is seriously awesome, just that i joined at the wrong time. I don't know why, out of sudden, i kind of miss my university life. I regret why am i not asking my parents to let me stay in cyber, it's my last year in university, and i didn't really enjoy much. I shouldn't be that greedy asking for more freedom but i seriously need a lil more, not much, just a bit will do.
Okay, time to stop puking all these. Goodnight!
Have a good friday everybody =)